Start the conversation at home

Your plan, in four steps

1. 1

   Read the guide

   About ten minutes: what to say by age, early signs, and what to do if something happens tonight.

2. 2

   Try one conversation this week

   Pick one first sentence for your child's age. Short and calm is enough.

3. 3

   Keep going

   One short talk a week for four weeks, or four activities to do with a child aged 8 to 12.

4. 4

   Check in after 30 days

   An optional reminder asks how it went. Nothing is kept about your child.

Prefer WhatsApp? Get the Family Plan in your chat (it opens a chat with ALTDAP with the word FAMILY ready to send).

Why start at home

• In Nigeria, people who use cannabis start at 19 on average (Drug Use in Nigeria 2018). The years before that are the years you are closest to your child, and where calm talks at home can help most.
• Children hear about drugs from friends, school and phones whether or not we speak. Hearing it first from a parent who is calm and honest is protective.
• Starting early is not teaching a child to use drugs, just as early talks about their body do not teach them to be careless. It gives them words, limits and a safe person.
• You do not need to be an expert. You need to be the adult who stays calm, listens and keeps talking.

What to say, by age

Every home is different

Use the language your child is most at home in, which may be your mother tongue, English or Pidgin. The words matter less than the calm, the listening and the keeping on talking.

Early signs, and how to start

These are not proof of anything. Many are ordinary growing-up changes, stress or tiredness. A change that is sudden, lasts weeks and affects several areas deserves a calm conversation, not an accusation.

• Sudden drop in school attendance or marks
• Marked change in friends, or secrecy about where they go
• Changes in sleep, appetite or energy that last
• Withdrawing from family, losing interest in things they loved
• Money going missing, or new belongings you cannot explain
• Strong mood changes, or a new strong smell on clothes or breath

Start with what you saw and how you feel, and ask a question: I have noticed you seem tired and quiet this month. I care about you. What is going on?

If something has happened tonight

If a person cannot be woken, is struggling to breathe, is having a seizure, has chest pain, or you fear for their life: Get medical help at once: take the person to the nearest hospital or clinic now, or call one close to you and ask them to send help. Stay with them. If you cannot reach local help quickly, also call 112. It is free, though it may not connect in every area.

• Stay calm and stay with them. Safety first, questions later.
• Do not punish, shout or shame tonight. A frightened child hides the next problem.
• Ask what they took only if it will not delay getting help. Tell the health worker what you know.
• Afterwards, once everyone is safe, arrange to see a health worker or a counsellor you trust, and speak with your child about what happened with care.

Your own part

• Notice how you react when you are worried. If your first reaction is anger, decide now what you will do instead.
• Children copy what we do. Our own habits with alcohol, tablets and smoking are part of what we teach.
• If you are struggling yourself, with stress, alcohol or something else, getting support is part of protecting your family. You can talk privately on ALTDAP's WhatsApp line, or with ALTDAP AI if you are 16 or over.

A note on faith

• Many families find strength in faith when they bring up a child. You can bring prayer and scripture into these talks, and teach that the body is a gift to be cared for.
• Faith leaders can also be a safe person for a young person who is afraid to tell their parents. Let your child know who else they can go to.
• Faith and care work together: pray with your child, and also listen, and also get a health worker when one is needed.

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